Once the initial excitement of a new relationships evaporates many women and men start to feel bored in their relationship. We have all experienced a “lull” in our sex lives, especially in long term relationships, careers, kids, arrrgh, it can be easy to allow our sex lives to erode.
We have unlimited options for meeting potential romantic partners at our fingertips, ranging from the “innocent” mainstream social media, to the *clears throat* somewhat dodgy “dating” apps like Tinder all the way to the infamous affair based websites, remember Ashley Madison?
Yes many people in relationships source a real life lover or more to have an affair with but how many really mean to do this and how many just crave emotion stimulation? If you spend long enough on dating apps and websites you soon learn that meeting people face to face is much less common that you would think. Indeed many people seem happy to chat indefinitely. From this, many people create and share very intimate bonds almost like relationships that exist purely online.
Does an online only relationship count as cheating? If the answer to this question is “yes” then at what precise level of emotional intimacy does this stop being “flirting” and start being “cheating”?
It’s this cloudy area that is dangerous and can be soon explained away (to yourself) so that you start to behave in a way that you would have usually considered as cheating.
To prevent yourself from justifying your actions to yourself you need to consider how you would judge someone else doing what you are doing. In particular if this was your partner doing this and then also in general judging a random person.
Chances are if you feel the slightest bit of guilt, you have probably overstepped the mark. If you would try to hide what you are doing from your partner then you are probably acting a little suspect as well. Perhaps you should change the structure of your relationship, perhaps you should communicate your relationships issues with your partner.
Either way, conversing online will only ever give you a very slight feel for the person. As anyone who has used online dating websites and apps before can attest, once you meet someone in person all bets are off and everything resets. The online interaction becomes irrelevant almost immediately upon meeting. Whether you are single or not you should be honest with yourself and try to work out what is missing in your life before trying online dating.
Ben Buckingham is a sex expert who tells it how it is. From giving oral sex to masterful dirty talk that will have your lover on the brink of orgasm and anything else you want to know about that is all between the sheets